Financial Diet continues tonight with a date with this lovely lady.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch. 7:30pm. Doris Duke Theatre.
Starring Otto and the 86 List.



see http://www.honoluluacademy.org/ for more info

And tomorrow night is the opening of R. Zamora Linmark's "Rolling the R's" at Kumu Kahua Theatre.

Abusive Mommy Killed Me

The art museum I work at went through it's second round of layoffs and I hear through the grapevine that there's a list with 10 names of those next in line for the guillotine.  My weekend job at another art museum laid off over half of it's personnel. Though I am grateful and extremely lucky to still be working at both museums (famous last words), it's definitely time to start looking around...just in case.

Alternative Job Ideas:

#1 Leader of "Abusive Mommy Killed Me" the ultra cool support group for the ever-growing number of museum exployees in the state of Hawaii

#2 Furniture repurposer/refurbisher

#3 Horticulturalist

#4 Paparazzi for people who look like famous people

#5 TV Host of "The Cat Lady's Meow"

Trimming the Fat

I am on a financial diet.

In related news, I am on a social diet.

My financial diet and my social diet are friends, but are total bitches to my body diet.

Round 1. Ding! Ding! Ding!

Financial Diet Rule: Make lunches instead of eating out.
Late one night, I decided to make sandwiches for lunch. This doesn't surprise me because I'm usually thinking about food late at night, but what I wasn't prepared for was standing in aisle 9 with a loaf of Ezekiel bread in one hand and french rolls in the other, contemplating the life or death decision of choosing good carbs over cheap carbs. It may be a difference of only a few dollars, but you have to be a little nazi when you're trying to make changes in your life or else you'll be making concessions every two seconds and never reach your goal. So what do I hope to attain first? A fat bank account or a svelte body? Well, time warp forward 39 minutes later when I bought the Ezekiel. I'm sorry but the only way I can consume gluten-laden, nutritionally-vacuous carbs is if they come in a Taco Bell bag and it's 2am.
Point, body diet.

Round 2. Ding! Ding! Ding!
Financial Diet Rule: Impose allowance of $20 per weekend.
Pretty ridiculous, I know, but so begins my search of cheap thrills in Honolulu. I had a wedding to go to on Saturday, so my allowance was spent on the gift before the weekend even began. Not to be outdone, I remember some dude once said, "desperation is the deadbeat loser father of innovation." So for dinner I crashed the annual Hawaii Craftsman exhibition opening after work. Thanks to the endless cheese platters, I made it my Iron Chef mission to make as many different yet appetizing cheddar, salami, cracker combinations I could think of. Salmon and baguette. Grapes and Brie. Baguettes and Brie! Merlot! Merlot!! OLIVE TAPENADE!!! Ugh.
Point, financial diet.

FIRE GOOD

My days as a caveman are numbered. I worked really hard at not having a myspace. This blog, it seems, may be a step backward. However, now is a time where my own friends would prefer to text, instant message, or email me rather than return my phone calls. And I use the word "friends," in the traditional sense referring to the people I used to spend time with doing...well, let's just leave it at that. Spend time with. Conversing, eating and borrowing clothes, not paying attention to the time and certainly not do anything worth blogging about.

Nowdays the traditional meaning of the word "friend" is being filed under "coworker" since my work buddies are who I turn to now to get my "I am so hung over, you will not believe what I did last night. Let's discuss this over a gas station musubi" fix. But I digress. There are husbands to love, babies to burp, gardens/careers/happy hours to tend, not to mention time zones and anytime minutes to track. I get it. My friends haven't turned into robots. As long as they still read for fun and exercise out of fear, there's still a heart beating under that iskin. If I keep up this semi-fictional, mostly masturbatory, quasi mockery of a self-reflection, look at me! look at me!, blog/thing...then maybe I can coax them back to the real/thing.

Text me if you're reading this.